I've never been one for the quiet life. I'm always looking for
something
new and different, something fun. Always impatient to take up a new
challenge. And sometimes my impatience makes me careless, or makes me
act
without thinking.
~Maybe life is like a ride on the freeway
Dodging bullets while you're trying to find your way~
Yeah, it gets me in serious trouble sometimes. But it's those little
brushes with death - again - that make me feel alive. Ironic really,
since
I'm not.
~Everyone's around, but no-one does a damn thing
It brings me down, but I won't let them~
Lately though, I've been feeling a little restless again. I know that
fighting on the side of good *is* still fighting, but....
~If I seem bleak
Well you'd be correct
And if I don't speak
It's cos I can't disconnect~
There are compensations of course. Oh, are there ever. Don't think I
could've stood it otherwise. And since those compensations include
plenty
of potential danger....
~But I won't be burned by the reflection
Of the fire in your eyes
As you're staring at the sun~
But I'm still a demon, and so me being me, I couldn't resist tempting
fate -
and that danger - when the opportunity presented itself.
*****
I let the man fall to the ground. God, it's been so long since I've
tasted
fresh, warm, *live* blood. I really should do this more often, sod the
consequences. Then I hear a gasp, a whispered "Spike?". Shit. And
while
part of me cringes, another part welcomes the danger, the
confrontation,
gleeful that I've been caught out.
~When I ran I didn't feel like a runaway
When I escaped I didn't feel like I'd got away
There's more to living than only surviving
Maybe I'm not there, but I'm still trying~
I turn to face her, see her shock turn to anger.
"Slayer." I greet her.
"How could you?" she hisses.
"How could I not?" Seems like a good thing to say at the time.
"You promised. You promised *me*." I shrug a little. What's to say?
~Though you hear me
I don't think that you relate
My will is something
That you can't confiscate~
She lashes out at me then. I block her punches and kicks, don't really
fight back. Perhaps she'll notice that when she's worked out her
anger.
She whips out a stake. Perhaps not, then. I disengage, step back.
She
tenses, waiting for an attack. Instead, I take another step away so my
back
is against the wall. I lean my head back, half closing my eyes.She
follows, anger still burning bright.
~So forgive me, but I won't be frustrated
By destruction in your eyes
As you're staring at the sun~
Does she want me to apologise? I won't. And what for anyway? For
what I
actually did, or for breaking her promise? Or is she expecting some
kind of
explanation? Not likely. She's drawn her own conclusions, and who can
blame her, on the evidence. She stares at me, faltering a little.
Later,
when we're alone, indoors, I'll tell her. If there *is* a later for me
that
is. But not now. Not yet.
"Why did you stop?" her voice is harsh. I just watch her through
slitted
eyes. You want to know? He's not dead, baby. He attacked me, the
twat.
Pulled a knife. What d'you expect me to do, baby? Turn the other
cheek?
"Why won't you fight?" Tears are coming now. Still I don't move.
Didn't
take more than a quick drink, baby. Coward passed out from fright.
Nothing
worse up with him than a bump on the head and a mess in his pants.
~If I seem bleak
Well you'd be correct
And if I don't speak
It's cos I can't disconnect~
She hits me again, and this time I'm too slow to block her. I couple
of
punches and a well placed kick, and I'm on the floor. She straddles
me,
stake poised.
"*Why*?" she grinds out. And a few feet away, I hear the 'body' begin
to
stir. The tip of the stake is resting on my chest now. I look right
at
her. Damned if I'm going out babbling excuses, even if they are the
truth.
stake presses down harder.
~But I won't be burned by the reflection
Of the fire in your eyes
As you're staring at the sun~
"Opportunity, baby." I whisper. She chokes a sob, the pressure on my
chest
increases, then she flings the stake away and collapses on top of me.
I
wrap my arms around her, and sit up, holding her on my lap, stroking
her
hair. "It's OK baby, it's OK."
"It's *not* OK." she sobs "I couldn't do it. I should've done it.
You
broke your promise. You killed someone..."
"No I didn't." She pulls away sharply.
"What?" I indicate towards the man, who has now rolled on his side and
is
groaning and holding his head. She's off my lap faster than I can
blink,
and the anger's back in full force. "Bastard!" she yells, and slaps
my
face as hard as she can before storming off. I'll go after her in a
minute,
and then we can fight properly before making up. Oh yeah, there are
definite compensations to this lark. I'll give you that.....
~Though you hear me
I don't think that you relate
My will is something
That you can't confiscate
So forgive me, but I won't be frustrated
By destruction in your eyes
As you're staring at the sun~
END
