By:A. Price
E-mail: jared@hsnp.com
Part:1
Disclaimer:I don't own the charachters of BTVS. They are owned by
Joss Whedon.
Rating:G
Archive:Yes
Summary:Spike helps Buffy and discovers he has feelings for her.
This is the first in a series of Buffy/Spike stories.
******
"Why am I here?" asked Buffy out loud. She was in front of Acathla
staring at him. Angel was in there somewhere, she had put him there
two weeks ago. She had left town for a little while, and had come
back today. She was drawn to this place althought she still didn't
want to see her friends or her Mom.
Buffy decided to stay here for awhile, the vamps had deserted it.
No one would look for her here.
"I don't know pet, why are you here?" asked a familiar accented voice.
Buffy turned around to find Spike standing behind her. "Why are you
here?" she asked her voice had a hard edge to it. "We had a deal, I
wasn't supposed to see you or Dru again."
"Well, it seems you were actually right about something, Slayer."
Spike replied with a half smile.
"What was that?" asked Buffy not letting down her guard.
"Dru is a ho, isn't that how you put it?" He smiled fully at her now.
Buffy laughed out loud. "She left you for someone else? I told you so!"
"Yeah, she couldn't forgive me for taking away her precious Angel.
What kind of hold does he have on women? Your still pining away for
him. I can see it in your eyes." Spike asked curiously.
Buffy looked down at the floor, a tear slid down her cheek. She
wiped it away quickly hoping he didn't notice. Too late, he noticed.
"Slayer, don't cry. I am in no mood for womens tears, Drus rantings
were enough to last a lifetime. She left me for the first Angel
lookalike she found." Spike told her bitterly.
Buffy tried to contain herself but another tear slipped down. "I'm
sorry, I guess you have your problems, and I have mine. By the way
shouldn't we be fighting?"
Spike spoke "Frankly, I am tired of fighting, how about a truce."
He walked over to her and reached for her face. Buffy pulled back,
unsure of what he intended. "Its okay Slayer" He said as he gently
wiped the tear from her cheek. "I am sincere, lets call a truce."
He sounds sincere thought Buffy. "Why Spike?" she had to ask.
"Because Angelus is gone, Dru is gone. What do we really have to
fight about? My heart just isn't in it anymore." He put his hand
across his heart as he spoke. "Do your friends know your back?"
Buffy shook her head no. "I can't face them yet. But since your back
I've go to find somewhere else to stay now."
"It's a big house, stay if you like. It's not like we keep the same
hours." Spike said the words and thought to himself. "You idiot,
you've invited the Slayer to be your houseguest." He couldn't help
himself, she looked so lost and lonely, like that lamb in the briar
patch in Drus stupid song.
Buffy looked up at him surprised by the invitation. He's right, its
not like we would see each other much, its only for a few days.
"Okay, Spike, but its only for a couple of days. I won't get in your
way. I just need to think."
Spike replied a little too quickly "Great. I'll show you the guest
room." She followed him up the stairs.
"You have a guest room?" asked Buffy.
"Well, Angel had this room decorated, he wouldn't tell us for who.
I always thought he intended to bring you here someday, pet." he
explained as he opened the door.
Buffy looked at the room, it was beautiful. A big brass bed was
in the middle of the room, it was covered with a cream colored
eyelet lace comforter. Candles were everywhere.
"Not quite my taste, but I guess some people like that light airy
feeling. I am sorry there is no electricity, but we have plenty
of candles." commented Spike.
"Its okay. This is fine." said Buffy as she sat on the bed and as
an afterthought she added "Thanks Spike."
Spike looked at her sitting on the bed, she looked so fragile. "I
could break her in two right now." he thought "But I don't want to
whats wrong with me?" He left her alone in the room.
Spike went downstairs and sat alone thinking. "How did I get into
this bloody mess? A slayer in my home and I don't even wat to harm
her. My priorities are screwed up!"
Buffy sat on the bed. She laid her head down on the soft pillow.
She thought of Angel. Even as Angelus, he had made a place for her,
if Spikes theory was correct. "Spike, what is going on with him?
Whats wrong with me? I accepted his invitation." She locked the
bedroom door thinking to herself that it really didn't offer much
protection.
Spike went upstairs, it was almost dawn. He walked by the slayers
room and put his ear to the door, he heard her peaceful breathing.
He went to bed his head full of strange thoughts.
Buffy woke up early the next morning. She went to a little grocery
on the edge of town and picked up a few groceries. She went back
to the house. No electricity, so no tv, but she did find a battery
radio. And she found a book, even Angelus had liked to read.
It was a collection of works by Edgar Allen Poe. She began to read
it wasn't her usual reading material, but some of the stories were
quite good.
She did a bit of straightening up. The conflict of the night she
and Angel had fought had left a mess. She found a broom and swept
up some broken glass. She lay on the couch and drifted into a short
nap.
Spike woke up and went downstairs. He saw Buffy sleeping on the
couch and entered the room quietly. She stirred and cried out in
her sleep, she seemed to be having a nightmare. Instinctively,
he gently shook her, "Wake up Slayer, you're having a dream."
Buffy woke up startled by Spike, then she remembered where she was.
"Spike, I cleaned up a bit. I can leave for awhile, it you want to
be alone."
Spike thought a moment, he wasn't sure why, but he knew he did not
want her to leave. "No stay, I'm bored. Talk to me. What was your
dream about?"
"Angel, its always about Angel" she said sadly. "Its the same dream
everytime, the look on his face when I stab him with that sword."
Tears welled in her eyes.
Spike sat down on the couch next to her. "Slayer, you did what you
had to do. You got to go on now. Angel would want that." Spike
thought to himself,"that was very comforting what you just said,
maybe she'll stop crying." He cautiously put his arm around her
small shoulders.
Buffy surprised him she didn't pull away, instead she gave away
to the tears and cried on his shoulder. Spike hated for women to
cry, he patted her and said "Its okay Slayer."
She was just so vulnerable, he wanted to make her quit crying. He
looked down at the blond head on his shoulder, her sobs were
subsiding now. "Buffy" he said softly. She looked up surprised to
hear him call her by her name. "Yes" she said with a hiccup, she had
quit
crying now.
"You need some fun. Lets go out for a walk, we'll get you out of
here." He offered her his hand. Surprising them both, she took it.
"Where are we going?" asked Buffy as they walked into the night air.
"There is a little ice cream place down the road. Rumor has it that
humans like ice cream in times of sadness." Spike said with a smile.
Buffy smiled back at him. He had not let go of her hand, but somehow
it was okay. They walked hand in hand to the ice cream place. She
had a double dip mint chocolate chip in a sugar cone. "This is good!
Want a bite?" she asked Spike.
"Don't think so, Luv" he smiled back at her, enjoying watching her
tackle the big cone. She had a spot on her chin. He reached over and
gently wiped it off with a napkin. "You're a little messy there,
Slayer"
"I like it better when you call me by my name." She said looking
at him with those big green eyes.
"Okay then Buffy, you're a little messy there" he repeated."Are
you ready to head back?"
She finished the ice cream and they left the store. The stars were
shining brightly in the moonlit sky. Spike pointed out the big
dipper to her. "You know your stars?" she asked surprised.
"I know lots of things" replied Spike, he cautiously took her hand
in his again. She didn't seem to notice, at least she didn't complain.
"This is nice." he thought.
Buffy did realize that Spike had her hand again, but it felt good
in a strange way. They discussed the stars on the way home.
Buffy sat on the couch, Spike sat next to her. She yawned. "You,
tired , Luv?" he asked sweetly.
Buffy thought to herself,"Thats twice he has called me "luv"
thats strange."
Buffy spoke "Yeah, but if I go to sleep, I'll just have another
nightmare. I want to stay up awhile. You don't have to entertain
me, if you have other things to do."
"Nah, I don't have any plans. Let me read to you" he picked up the
Edgar Allen Poe book. He began to read in that lovely accent.
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
by the name of Annabel Lee
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
coveted her and me.
Spike looked at Buffy as he read the rest of poem. She was
thinking of Angel, he could tell by the look on her face. He thought
he would like to have someone look like that when they thought of him.
Buffy spoke when he finished the poem. "Thanks Spike, that was nice.
I think I'll go t bed now." she turned and went upstairs.
In her room as she lay on her bed, a line from the poem came to her,
she heard it in Spikes lovely accent.
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
"Will I ever quit dreaming of Angel?" she thought sadly to herself,
as she fell to sleep.
Several hours later Spike went to check on her, he quietly tried
the door know. It was locked. "Good girl, you don't trust me. I don't
trust myself around you." It wasn't because he wanted to hurt her, in
fact it was the opposite. For some reason he wanted to make her smile
again. He wanted the full of life, smart alec, old slay...,old Buffy
back.
The next evening Spike brought in a trivial pursuit game. They
played by candlelight, he won. "Its not fair, I'm lousy at history"
complained Buffy.
Spike laughed "Maybe I do have the advantage here. I was alive when
some of this happened!"
Buffys couple of nights turned into a week. She knew she was going
to have to go home. She decided to go the next day. She would tell
Spike when he got home. Spike came in with pizza and flowers in
hand.
"Thought you might be hungry" he told her as he put the pizza down.
"And the flowers?" she asked coyly.
"For you m'lady" replied Spike almost shyly.
"Thanks Spike. Thanks for everything. I've decided to go home
tomorrow. Its time for me to face everyone.
Spike was trembling inside, he didn't want her to go. He had gotten
used he the small blond being there. On the outside he remained his
always cool self. "Well, of course, its time. I've got stuff to do
I guess I'll see you around." He turned and walked to the front door.
Buffy sat down puzzled at his behavior.
Spike was barely out the door, when he turned around and came back
in. He roughly pulled Buffy up off the couch. Before she knew what
had happened his lips were on hers. Without realizing it, she began
to return the kiss. They stook there kissing for five minutes before
Buffy stopped and took a long deep breath.
She looked at Spike "What was that?" she demanded.
"A kiss, Buffy, a kiss. Surely, you've had one before." he said
sarcastically. The kiss had gotten to him more then he wanted to
admit.
"You know what I mean. Why did you kiss me?" she asked him.
"Why did you kiss me? You did join in there, you know." He smiled
at her.
Buffy shook her head, sneezed once and said "I, um, I don't know
but I think I should leave tonight."
"I don't think thats a good idea" he told her and put his hand on
her arm.
"Are you threatening me?" she asked defensively.
"Not at all, its just late. Its dangerous to be out, and your
Mom will be rested to deal with this in the morning." He thought
to himself that he didn't want her to leave at all.
"Maybe you're right. One more night can't hurt." she said "I am
going to bed now. Goddnight!" She went upstairs, his eyes followed
her.
Spike sat down thinking. "I know why Angel loved her, and why even
Angelus was obsessed with her. She is a remarkable girl. He
couldn't help himself, neither can I."
He went up the stairs, he tried Buffys door, it wasn't locked. He
quietly let himself in and sat down in the chair beside the bed.
She looked so peaceful, he just wanted to watch her sleep. She was
leaving tomorrow, leaving him. It really was for the best. What
would he do with the Slayer around all the time? He couldn't turn
into her watchdog, like Angel did. It wasn't in him to be good. Yet
something about her made him want to be good. She stirred in her
sleep and he smiled as she rolled over and smushed up her pillow.
She opened her eyes and blinked at him "Spike" she said as she
looked at the clock. It was two am.
"Buffy, we need to talk. I don't want you to leave. I want you to
stay. I like your being here. I think I might love you!" he said
the words quickly.
She sat up straight in the bed "Huh! You think you love me? You
don't love me. You miss Dru and I am here." She looked at him and
smiled sweetly.
"At first I thought that too, but I don't think so anymore." He
spoke thoughtfully.
"I can't stay. I have to go back, and Spike I appreciate everything
you[ve done. But I love Angel, and I always will." she spoke simply.
"Thats the story of my life." he said sadly.
Buffy put her arm around him "I'm sorry Spike, at this point I
wish it could be different." She kissed him on the cheek.
Spike turned to look at her the kiss had felt warm on his cheek,
too warm. "Buffy are you feeling okay?" She shook her head and
sneezed,"I think I am getting a cold, its damp in here."
"Well, if your sick, you shouldn't try to leave in the morning.
You should rest up. I'll go get something for that fever." Spike
said trying to sound more concerned then the happiness he felt at
her staying longer.
"Okay' she said sniffling as he tucked her under the covers.
Spike came back with medicine for fever and cough syrup. She took
the fever medicine, but refused the cough syrup. "Smell it" she
said "If it smells that bad, its gonna taste worse!"
"Slayer, this is good for you. Take your medicine like a big girl.
He made her laugh and stuck the spoon in her mouth.
"Not fair. Yuk" said Buffy with a frown.
Spike crawled into the bed next to her and put his arm around her.
The coolness of his body felt good against her fevered one. She soon
fell asleep. Spike listened to her breathing and the steady beat of
her heart. Buffy dreamed, she dreamed of vampires, she always dreamed
of vampires. But this time it wasn't Angel she dreamed of. This
time the vampire in her dream was blond."
The next morning she woke feeling much better. Spike was still beside
her sleeping. She went over the events of the previous evening,
thinking to herself how sweet Spike had been. "But he doesn't love
me. And I can't give him love, because my love belongs to Angel."
She softly stroked his blond hair and left the room.
Downstairs, she scribbled a note for him, it read:
Dear Spike, Thanks for everything. Try to behave yourself. I've
seen the other side of you and you can't fool me! Buffy
She let herself out and headed home. She walked quickly, she didn't
know what to expect. She approached the front door and let herself
in. "Mom" she called softly. Joyce Summers ran down the stairs.
She pulled Buffy into a big hug, crying and laughing at the same time.
"Buffy, I thought I had lost you. I am so sorry for that last night."
Buffy smiled at her Mom "Its okay, we both said things we shouldn't
have said. I am so sorry I worried you."
"Buffy, Kendras death has been blamed on a gang. Giles and the others
gave reports to the police. You've been cleared." her Mom explained.
Later, Buffy called Giles and each one of her friends and explained
what had happened. She made plans to meet them the next day, she
needed one day to rest up. Giles had to consult his books about Angel
anyway.
Willow had been upset, that Buffy had go through seeing Angel with
his soul before sending him into the vortex. But Buffy put her mind
at rest, by telling her at least she got to tell him she loved him,
one last time.
Buffy went to bed that night in her own bed. If felt good to be here,
even if there were memories of Angel everywhere, her claddagh ring
lay on the bedside table. She fell asleep thinking of him.
In the middle of the night, a silent figure crept into the Slayers
room, he had been invited into the house once. Spike stood and watched
her sleeping. She appeared to be happy to be home. He lay a package
on the bedside table. He kissed her softly on the forehead and left
out the window.
Spike walked home contemplating his feelings for Buffy. He thought
with time, he could make her feel the same way about him that he felt
for her. If there was one thing Spike had, it was time, lots of time.
He thought to himself "It could happen..."
Buffy woke up the next morning. It was so good to be home. She saw
the package on the table. She sat up an opened it. It was a book,
"The Collected Works of Edgar Allen Poe". An oldfashioned lace
bookmark marked a page. She turned to it. Spike had underlined a
passage in the poem "Annabel Lee".
And neither the angels in heaven above
Nor the demons down below the sea
Can ever disever my soul from the soul
of the beautiful Annabel Lee
